Ooooh, a couple of days worth of waffle to fill in! I know I could and indeed should have written some yesterday but just never got round to it. Lazy and busy at the same time!

So where were we? Tuesday evening. Can't remember doing anything spectacular. We haven't got around to booking back in for Body Balance as yet so didn't do that. I think we just sat out in the garden with our tea and then did a bit of tidying and ironing.

Yesterday proved pretty productive for me in the end. I got all the changes needed on the map and town plans to send them off for updating. Then I scanned in the recent Park & Ride pictures. Had a slight hiccup there when the scanner started playing up, but it seems to be working again properly now. And also got a good way in to sorting the accounts out. Might be able to finish them off soon and actually understand them. And to make things better than doing them here (a) the phone only rang twice all day, (b) I had the windows open and my shorts on, (c) there were no e-mails and (d) I had a decent soundtrack. That comprised:

Underworld - Live: Everything, Everything
Ned's Atomic Dustbin - 0.522 (a B-sides collection)
Ozric Tentacles - Strangeitude
Skyclad - Prince Of The Poverty Line

And also the in-game music, bleepings and so forth for a variety of old Arcade classics I was running under Mame for breaks every now and then. I've got a set of cds with over 3,000 games on for Mame and am gradually trying them out for size. Some of the old Japanese ones are very obscure and tricky to get to grips with, there are also an unseemly number of ones featuring people taking their clothes off in very bad graphics!

The afternon featured the long-awaited (but not looked-forward-to) trip to see Kirstie the hygenist to see if all the agony earlier in the year had been worth it. This was the poke the needle in lots of times to measure if the pockets have got any shallower stuff. Not fun, but not too painful in the end. And yes, all of them have got better than they were before we started. Not all of them by a great extent, but enough to have justified the treatment package. They will keep an eye on them and there are some other things they can try in the future if things start to go the wrong way again. And I didn't have to pay any money over yesterday either as I had been knocking a chunk off the bill on the earlier visits and actually went 12p over.

In the evening we had our feet sorted out then had a look at holidays once again c/o the good old Internet. Some wonderful tours around parts of the US and Canada that we really want to see. The prices look fairly horrendous at first glance, but we think we might just treat ourselves next year. We just need to get disciplined to save properly. Then we had a manic two player session on Puzzle Bobble. One of the few games Joan can really get into.

Got woken up at 5ish this morning by my right leg deciding it hadn't seized up with cramp for months and that now was the perfect opportunity. Quite painful at the time and still uncomfortable now. Still, got to work OK, have done some useful stuff and finally the morning is almost over once more. Time for a spot of lunch, a walk up the town and then back here for a meeting.

Goes on, and the heat goes on... To adapt a line from the Talking Heads for a moment or two! It is still absolutely scorching out there, but it is now also raining which may help to cool things down a fraction (it will also probably mean our washing will need drying again when we get home if this persists as far as Felixstowe and lasts all afternoon). It might also encourage the girls of Ipswich to put a few more clothes on. I wouldn't mind so much if they were nice looking to start with. Better stop that thought now before it gets me into trouble.

Tomorrow I am working at home updating our maps and trying to whip the finances into some sort of shape. Trouble is I have been so good at getting stuff ready to do so that I'm now left with not a lot to occupy the afternoon. I might go home early and make a start - especially as I need to do some work related scanning too. Of course, given how the future of this department appears to be shaping up I ought to ignore the finances as they are likely to be split between different managers in the new milieu but it is still a better option than being here for all 5 days of the week.

Going back in time a bit, last night was reasonably busy for us. Jerry from next door brought a car round for us to test drive. A Vauxhall Corsa. It was quite nice and all that, but not really what I'm after as despite being small it had a large engine so that pushes up the tax, insurance and fuel costs and I'm trying to save on those. I do feel a bit sorry for him as he is lonely since June died, but I don't think I'm ready to be a substitute family for him yet. I also don't want to end up buying a car from his mate just to keep the pressure off and harmonic relationships on if it doesn't come with the right warranties etc.

After that we did a spot of shopping and then went on to see Helen & Bhupen for a bit. As a consequence of that we didn't eat until quite late (Chinese again!) and thus didn't really do much else. And we both had disturbed sleep (Joan was up for two chapters of a book) and strange dreams again. I think the disturbed sleep may also have been temperature related. And now the heavy eyes and yawns have hit me once again. I really must get a trip to the doctor sorted if I don't start being more awake soon.

Still hot today. And uncomfortably sticky too. At least the office isn't too bad, but I think I'd rather be elsewhere. Nothing to do with Joan being off today of course. Oh, no, nothing to do with that at all! Also very tired this morning again - must get an early night some time to try and catch up on missing sleep.

Had a nice evening of dinner on the new patio and just relaxed chatting, but it must have drained some of the energy reserves after all. And now sitting here trying to make sense of timetables without my eyes closing. Not easy.

So Kate won. But at least Jonny came second so we aren't too downhearted here. Mind you, we were both absolutely knackered when it come to getting up yesterday after staying up to watch the final and all that, but never mind. It was worse for Joan as she had got home late on Friday due to Saturday being the launch of the new catalogue. And the shop is just intolerably hot at the moment. I know from having worked there just how oven-like it can get at times, and yet still head office won't splash the cash on some air conditioning for them. A customer even passed out because of the heat in there today but I bet that still won't make a difference.

We finally got around to watching Scary Movie 2 last night. Not quite as funny as the first one but just as good as I remembered from seeing it in Canada last year. There are also loads of deleted and alternate scenes. Got through about half of them last night and was surprised that some of them didn't make the final cut. Especially as in places they have bits in them that are featured on the cover of the disc (and were thus on the posters for the original release) but didn't make it to the cinema version. Strange.

I also picked up my photos yesterday and I think some of them will do just nicely for the purpose I took them for. Others will be useful for joke stuff to go on www.b3ta.com so not all wasted. On top of that we got a new wooden table and chairs for the garden. Joan had seen them at work and liked them, but we thought they were a bit overpriced. While we were up north one of her colleagues spotted that they had gone down in price and ordered us a set in. They are really nice now, especally for what we finally paid!

Today Joan is at work once again, and I have been taking it easy up to now. Have sat in the sun a bit (including for lunch, nice) and finished the Dilbert book(s). Not sure what to pick next, but I do have a huge pile of magazines to read so the next actual book is a couple of days away as yet. Better do a bit of tidying up now before I go to pick her up.

By George it sure is HOT out there today. Spent the last 6 hours out and about doing deliveries and some roadside publicity for that service previously moaned about. Only got lost once (but that did lead to an encounter with a nice Traction Engine in full steam, so it was a worthwhile diversion). But bloody hell am I glad to be going home for a shower soon.

Last night ended up being a tv and Galaxians fest rather than a film. Tonight is the Big Brother final so that will be required viewing then next week back to some sort of normality. Speaking of BB, Graham Norton had Dustin Hoffman on his show last night (not literally!) and they did a short BB sketch. Dustin as Jonny even going as far as to do a bit of a Geordie accent. Absolutely superb. And he was really funny as himself in the interview part too.

That's it for now. Just too hot to think straight.

Been sunny all day, so I took the chance to get out twice. First off at lunchtime when I wandered up to the bank to pay that cheque in and then look at the shops. I'd been thinking for ages that I really ought to get a copy of Alice In Wonderland and read it again sometime and that popped back into my brain whilst I was passing The Works. So in I went and not only did they have a copy for £1, but for an extra 99p I could get an omnibus of everything Lewis Carroll ever wrote. So I took that option instead. Ok, so its a flimsy book that probably won't last me until my dotage, but it will do for the opurpose. Or indeed porpoise!

And now I have just got back from going out again. After a couple of requests for Park & Ride photos that didn't really match up to what we have on file I thought I'd go and take some more. So have been up to Bury Road and tried to get a bit interesting and also "arty". We shall see what comes out when I get them back. That also seems to be the nearest thing I've done to any real work today. Have mainly been reading through an avalanche of magazines and journals that have been building up in other people's in trays and not getting passed on to me.

Joan is having her back cracked tonight so I am meeting her there to do a bit of post-cracking shopping. Then it'll be healthy grilled food for tea and hopefully tonight we really will get round to watching a film. Last night we caught up on old episodes of Holby (although we missed two while we were up north). That is of course if the phone will stay silent. I used to get frustrated that whenever we started watching something it would ring, then that stopped but we still had to take a break around 9 every night for Joan to phone her Dad. Obviously that is no longer a problem, but since last week's events there always seems to be someone calling to check if we are OK. I am getting close to answering back with "we'd be better if you'd all leave us alone for a couple of nights" or unplugging them all!

Didn't think to mention that last night was also pretty stressful for another reason. The estate settlement cheque came. And while it is obviously nice to get some money, the reason for it isn't and it was all a bit upsetting for Joan. I have brought it with me to pay in to save her the possible embarrassment of bursting into tears in the bank if she were to do it.

On a lighter note, I just found this in the BBC site and have to stick it in:
Thursday, 25 July, 2002, 02:46 GMT 03:46 UK
Barbie loses battle over bimbo image


Barbie must accept that being parodied is part of the job, a US judge has ruled after the manufacturer of the famous leggy blonde took legal action against a pop song which mocked her.

Danish pop act Aqua stormed the charts in 1997 with the song Barbie Girl, in which a female singer portraying Barbie refers to herself as a "blonde bimbo". She is also enticed to "go party" by a male singer representing Ken, Barbie's steady boyfriend.

Barbie's maker Mattel, in a lawsuit against MCA Records, contended that the song infringed copyright and sullied Barbie's image. But Judge Alex Kozinski said that the song was protected by the right to free speech in the US constitution because it was a parody and a social commentary. "With Barbie, Mattel created not just a toy but a cultural icon," he said. "With fame often comes unwanted attention."

He also noted that Barbie had heard much worse since her conception in the 1950s.

Tall, slim - yet curvaceous - Barbie has been the bane of feminists who want society to move away from conceptions of the female figure that do not correspond with reality. "Barbie has been labelled both the ideal woman and a bimbo," said Judge Kozinski. His court also upheld a lower court decision to throw out a defamation suit brought against Mattel by MCA over comments allegedly made about the record company. "The parties are advised to chill," said the judge.

However the news still comes as a blow to Mattel, being the second case it has lost over the Barbie mark in less than two years. In February last year, a court ruled that an American artist was within his rights to use Barbie dolls in his work. Some of Tom Forsythe's photographs depicted the blonde in sexually compromising positions.

A court had ruled on that occasion too that parody of Barbie was an acceptable activity.

What can you say about that?

Big yawn time - feel absolutely washed out this morning and like I could drop off at any minute for no apparent reason. Went to bed same time as normal, slept all through (although with the obligatory strange and confusing dreams - seems I was moving into a house in Derby that kept changing street and also buying a mini at the same time that was then in need of major repairs) and woke up as required when the alarm did its stuff. Oh well, I'll just have to get some matchsticks from somewhere to keep my eyes open.

Until everyone else goes off for meetings, then I might be able to snooze under the desk a bit!

Slight changes of plan last night saw us getting our heads trimmed at Faith's place rather than ours for a change. I don't mind going there as she has a couple of nice dogs. And I don't normally like dogs, so that says something. Collie sheepdog things. Both mad as hatters and utterly cute. I think they could almost be used to persuade me to get a mutt myself sometime, apart from the walking and clearing up shite business of course. And I'm still not sure about the generall doggy smell they all seem to have - it seems to waft throughout a doggy household and I can't get used to it.

That meant we were not home until 7ish and decided a chinese was called for as we couldn't be bothered cooking by the time we'd showered. The Magic Wok was unexpectedly closed so I went up to the one in town we had been treated to food from at the weekend. They have a few different choices on the menu so I ended up with (and sorry to any Llamasofties reading this) Mongolian crispy lamb. It was lovely!

OK, time to see what the working day can do to keep me awake.

Stayed awake until we went to bed last night, which was nice. And we did do the toasted sandwich thing for tea too. Dunno what we will have tonight though.

Today has been in equal parts rewarding and frustrating. I finally got all the timetable changes from the last two weeks in and off ot the printers when, Kazam!, another one turned up. Ordinarily this would just be a cause for me to shake my head wearily and say something like "just when I thought it was safe" or "here we go again" but this one took the biscuit and finally spurred me into writing a stroppy email. It was for a service that started on Monday. Now, that would be bad enough, not hearing about it until after it changed but this is one we are sponsoring. Yup, not only had the information been in the office before today, we designed it. Accompanying the registration was a letter of support for the change dated the 19th. But did they tell us then? No. And knowing how the system works it will have taken them a couple of weeks to pull the whole thing together. It is actually a replacement for a commercial service that has been cancelled. Did they tell us they were going to look to replace it? No. Did they tell us when the tenders went out? No. Or when they were returned? You guessed it.

So that was just one step too far for me. I have sent this to their stand in manager (names not changed cos they ain't innocent and don't deserve protecting!):

I've been trying to get communications from your team about what goes on for 4½ years now so would welcome your input on the matter. The main issue is on letting us know what they are doing when it comes to sponsored services. I am continually finding out about things we are paying for from the final registration rather than in advance from the people doing it. This is made worse when it comes to supporting short notice changes.

I think the final straw has just come - I have received a registration in the last ten minutes for a service that started on MONDAY accompanied by a support letter from Ian dated the 19th. Now I know I was off for two weeks, but your people must have known they were doing this before the 19th and could at least have told someone something about what was going on. It would have been nice to get the roadside publicity done before it started, whereas now it won't be until Friday of this week.

Frankly, I've had enough of being left out of the loop like this. And after all, who's going to ride a bus if we can't tell anyone it is running?

There is also this email I sent to Mike, Chris and Charles before going off up North:

Chaps,

As I seem to have been lumbered with producing a leaflet to tell the plebs all about ticket interavailability between sponsored and commercial services, can one of you provide me a definitive list of what we do, where it is valid etc etc etc.

Ta,

Again, I have heard nothing. Not even a "we're busy but will get back to you". I can see I will be getting chased for news on the leaflet soon and will have to say that people are letting me down.

Any chance you can take them off somewhere and knock some sense into them? All the re-org stuff implies we should work together more but that's only what the publicity/marketing team has been asking for since before I started here.

All help gratefully appreciated...

He agrees the situation is not a good one, so has agreed to join us at our next team meeting to see what we actually need then sort them out. Hopefully the results will prove positive. After all, we are supposed to be getting closer to each other under the re-org stuff so there are some pretty huge walls to break through.

Better news is that we think we have decided on the holiday we want to take. Prague. Will see now how much money we end up with and if there are spaces for us.

Also wnet to the library at lunchtime so have four cds to listen to soon: Underworld - Beacoup Fish AND Live - Everything, Everything, Jimi Hendrix - Axis: Bold As Love and Blink 182 - The Buddah Album. The latter will fit on the same MD as another album of theirs I've got but the live Underworld will need some clever editing to fit on an MD unless I can find somewhere selling 80 minute ones locally.

Nearly time to get out of here for the day. Yay! Getting hairs cut tonight as they should have been done last week but we were on the A1 at the time.

Despite feeling like a complete Zombie by the time I got home (and falling asleep on the sofa for an hour) I am not too bad today and even made it in to work before 830 for a change. Only by 2 minutes mind, but that's all that you need!

We finally got the grill wotsit up and running last night, and the results were very tasty indeed. Might just have to use it again tonight. Or possibly it will be a toasted sandwich kind of feel to the food. More news on that when it happens!

Another good bit from yesterday was that in the 269 messages was one letting me off any financial implications of car scraping. That was a big load off the mind I can confirm. Having had run ins with the neighbours over car issues I certainly didn't want to get embroilled with a stranger on that issue. Why do cars create such hassle?

Am now halfway down the stack of bus registrations so might have all the details off to the printers by the time I go home tonight. I will of course drive carefully and make sure I avoid any pigs that might be flying past. Still plenty of other things in the in-tray to deal with, but nothing that can't wait a couple more days. And have got a van booked for a day out of the office on Friday, so hopefully today's rain will only be a blip in the nice weather we've been having.

Being back at work has also meant a return to in car music. Yesterday was By Your Side by The Black Crowes and today has seen a Chumbawamba B-sides and rarities compilation I knocked up myself with (would ya believe) Geri Haliwell (Scream If You Wanna Go Faster) to get me home again. Never say I don't have a wide taste.

I have even managed to get up the town today - where I realised what it was that was nagging at me after getting in to work with no traffic for two days in a row. The bloody kids are off school for the summer now. The place was full fo the little horrors. Still, I got what I went out for - Iron Maiden's Rock In Rio DVD and also an unexoected bonus of The Big Blue which is a film about divers and dolphins and stuff that was recommended on the Llamasoft forums this morning. Well, it was only £8 on the market so I thought I'd take the chance. Joan even agrees with me there so we will hopefully not be disappointed. Back to timetables now...

So here I am back at work. Oh joy and rapture. Be still my beating heart. And other such crap.

Only 269 emails waiting for me when I logged in this morning. Might get through them all by the end of the day, but somehow doubt it. Ended up having to take 4 days of holiday and one flexi-day for last week, after getting compassionate leave for the first 5 days. Better than Bhupen I guess as he had to take it all as holiday, but not what I really wanted. Still got enough left for another three weeks between now and April plus whatever flexi I can build up so we will get away at some point. We have even picked up some brochures so might look at them later.

Also a whole stack of bus service changes that have come in during the last fortnight. Weren't any for ages before we went off!

The re-organization thing is still going on as before. No chance it would seem of stopping the two of us having to fight for senior status. Part of me is just totally pissed off with the whole situation while the rest just wants it all to go away. Whatever happens I'll still have a job of some description and no less money coming in (more even, if the union ever decides to accept an offer - I'm not a member but have to wait for my pay rise anyway). In the end it is only a job and recent events just re-inforce the feeling that it doesn't really matter what I do at work, so long as I make the most of the time at home. So once I've made up the 2½ hours I'm down on time at the moment I think I will concentrate on building up a few days by working longer hours just so I can do some of the things I want to do rather than have to do.

Hmm, just had a phone call asking for timetable books in Bury. Think I will book a car and have a day out later in the week. I probably need one!

I think the worst part of today was looking at my diary - the first half of this week has "Keep Free - Trip to visit Ernie?" written in large letters all over it. There's something I'll never write again. Also realised I forgot to put in the bit above about all the hassle over treating him - one of the doctors was even proposing moving him to another hospital for kidney dialysis. What planet are these people from? He probably wouldn't even have made the trip and it wouldn't have done a darn thing to solve the underlying problem. Just prolonged the agony a bit longer.

Oh well, nothing more I can say will change things.

On a lighter note, am now reading my way through an omnibus edition of The Dilbert Principle, The Dilbert Future and The Joy Of Work, all by Scott Adams. Just funny enough to keep me sane (but not too far gone to seem in bad taste at the moment) and also horribly true about what is going on around me here at the moment.

Only another hour or so to go!

And finally I get the chance to write a bit more.

Thursday we did some more shopping and sorting out of stuff during the day. Also Joan went to the doctor and we had everyone around for dinner in the evening - a sort of mopping up of the whole process plus farewell to Sheila. It also allowed Bhupen to help her pack her cases - obviously I'm not capable of such a complicated task!

Friday we got up early and I took Sheila to Heathrow for her flight home. I was expecting a long and stressful run complete with lots of traffic and hold-ups as is normal on both the A12 and M25, especially with it being the last day of term so no doubt some families would have removed their sprogs from school a day early and be heading off on their holidays. We left here with a good 3½-4 hours to spare before the last minute she could check in, and got there in a little over 2. I have never seen those roads so empty. There was just a little bit of stop-starting around the M40 interchange. Uncanny. It was also a doddle to find a parking space and there were no queues at the check-in desks either. Most strange. Anyway, she got checked in OK and from all subsequent accounts the flight went on time and she got home fine (for about 5 minutes before heading off to see her daughter's new home now they have finally moved in after months of waiting for it to be built - and I just realised that today is their first wedding anniversary).

My trip back to Felixstowe was almost as uneventful as the journey down. I did make one stop to fill me up with an egg & sausage sandwich (at South Mimms services, where Joan and I had our first holiday - a couple of nights in the Travelodge with easy access to London!) and had to queue between the M11 and A12, but otherwise again free flowing all the way home. I seem to recall dozing through much of the afternoon and then we had a relaxing evening watching tv - BB now down to the final 4/final week and we are actually quite keen to see Jonny win - and not just because he's from County Durham.

Yesterday we thought would be simple. We have been after something new for the lounge to store the DVDs and stuff in. So, off we trotted in the morning into Felixstowe. Nothing available to suit. So we then went up to Ipswich. Not the town centre but all the little retail parks dotted around the outskirts. Again, nothing doing. We did manage to have a very nice lunch at Fatty Arbuckle's American Diner (mmm, pancakes with Maple Syrup, almost as good as being back in Canada again) and look at lots of cars though. We are begining to think that it might be time to replace the Escort and are just looking at options for what is available and how much we want to pay. We are thinking of going smaller again though as there are only the two of us and we don't buy a lot of big stuff. And when we do there is always the delivery or borrow Dad's Volvo option. Perhaps a Ford Fiesta or Ka. We shall see.

When we got home Joan was zonked so I did a bit of ironing (with a soundtrack from Kingmaker - Sleepwalking and The Human League - Romantic?) while she slept. Then we went round to Ma & Pa's for a big Chinese meal. That was very nice and from one in town rather than our usual haunt of the Magic Wok (well, that one is on the corner of our street, it would seem rude to go elsewhere).

Today we have again been in to Felixstowe. Joan wanted to check on how things had been going at work while she was away so I had a wander about for a while until I ran out of magazines to read in Smiths and thought I ought to go find her before I started buying DVDs instead. In the end we had lunch at Wimpy and came home with another 6 foot bookcase for the dining room (to be used for shiny discs not books in the main instead of something for the lounge) and also a USB hub for the PC. Been after one of those since Christmas and now no longer have to reach round the back of the PC when wanting to swap between playing games and printing.

So that's us up to date again. Not sure what we will do tonight, but not a lot sounds good to me!

I have been thinking a bit more about the events of the 9th. I know Ernie was fairly aware of what was going on until a few hours after they withdrew treatment and just let the morphine do its stuff, but I don't recall anyone ever actually talking to him about what was going to happen. He did ask Helen a couple of times when it was all going to end, but never said anything specific about what he wanted to do and if he was ready for that really. I can't decide what I would want to do if it was me lying there wired up with no hope. Would I go for the option of letting everyone else make decisions and not know the end was near or would I want the chance to be involved in the choice? I think I would like to know I was on my way out in the next couple of hours just so I could say some proper goodbyes before drifting off on the drugs. It just seemed a bit odd to me that nobody wanted to give him that chance, but were rather keen to let him go on thinking things would be OK until he wasn't awake any more.

Well, it wasn't my choice so I will just have to live with how it happened. I hope I get my own way when the time comes though.

Back to work tomorrow so should be able to keep this more up to date again.

Dang it, you write all that and then the sodding thing refuses to publish.

Any luck now?

What a week and a half that was. Where on earth do I begin and how to get it all down in words without it sounding too trite in places? Well, I shall just have to press on with it and see how it goes.

Sunday the whatever it was, I had it all planned for a nice quiet evening when Joan got home from work. We were going to try that new grill thing and just generally relax.

We got as far as Joan having a bath before the phone rang and blew everything to pieces. It was Joan's aunt Dahlia (Ernie's Sister) to tell us that she had been to see him in hospital and things had taken a turn for the worst. So basically we dropped everything, threw a few clothes in a case and hit the road along with Helen, Bhupen & Alexander in their car. We arrived at the hospital at about 0130 Monday morning and were immediately confronted with a doctor asking us to agree to a Do Not Ressucitate order. Not the best way to end a 6 hour journey.

It turned out he had actually had a small heart attack under the gas for the operation on thursday and then another, bigger one on Friday. Pity they didn't tell us that over the phone. Anyway, we had a bit of a chat with the doctor, nurses and Ern himself and then Bhupen & Alexander went off to the house to get a bit of rest while the three of us settled down to see what the morning would bring.

I think I caught a couple of hours sleep in a chair somewhere but can't really remember.

On Monday we had him moved to a side room as the rest of the ward was a bit noisy and he couldn't get any rest. Fair enough really as it was the High Dependency Unit and everyone was hooked up to at least three machines. The three of us who had stayed the night went home to get changed then back for more waiting and thinking.

We had a bit of an argument with the surgeon who had done the leg op (which was a success) and one of his juniors over what should be done next. They were adamant that we should do everything to keep Ernie going but we could see how pointless it all was. Basically the rest of his body was shutting down because the heart was too damaged by the attacks to do any real pumping of blood, and as there was no hope for a repair or transplant it just seemed cruel to us to keep him going with more drugs and machines.

The chaps went home again that night and then on Tuesday morning picked up Sheila from Newcastle airport and brought her in. None of us left again until it was over from that point. Monday night had been pretty awful for Ernie as he was begining to throw up blood - in quite large quantities and by Tuesday lunchtime we had all agreed that all the drugs were doing was prolonging the inevitable and the doctors agreed, so at exactly 12 midday they withdrew everything except the pain relief and all we could do then was watch and wait.

There were a couple more hours where he was drifting in and out of conciousness, and obviously getting more confused as the morphine kicked in. His last few sentences were about thinking two thoughts at the same time, dreaming different dreams in each side of his head and wanting to share a sandwich with Joan. It was very heartbreaking and in some ways a relief when around three pm he stopped waking up.

For us watching and waiting it got worse around 5ish when he started to stop breathing. He would go for 3 or 4 minutes with the breathing getting increasingly ragged and then stop for 30 to 40 seconds. We'd all lean forward to see if that was it and then he'd start off again. That went on for nearly 7 hours of stop-start worry for us until the end came at 1245 making his date of death officially the 10th.

The girls had spent a couple of hours debating about whether to get a priest in to help see him off, and finally made their minds up in time for him to arrive at 1230. He came in, laid his hand on Ernie's head and did some prayers etc (I can't remember what) before finally finishing with "...and tonight, Ernie, you will walk in paradise with the Lord" and at that exact moment he stopped breathing for the last time. Which was a bit spooky to say the least. We came to the conclusion that he must have been waiting for permission to die.

So, that was that. The first death I've witnessed and not a pleasant experience.

The staff on the ward were all absolutely marvellous while we were there. Never intrusive, always ready to help and explain things to us, willing to back us against the surgeons and so forth. They all thought Ernie was a great bloke from the time they had spent with him, and I shall certainly back them to the hilt if ever it came to a crisis with the NHS.

We hung around for a while before finally all going back to the house to sleep and see what happened next.

The sleeping arrangements were a bit awkward and the three girls ended up sharing the double bed their parents had used while us lads rotated between, sofa, single matress and floor in the lounge.

After making the arrangements we then divided our time between clearing out the house (over 100 black sacks and counting, not to mention innumerable trips to the charity shops), sorting out the paperwork (which mainly fell on my head although I then got shouted at for taking over - I'll forgive Helen for now, but if she ever tries to use it against me in the future there really will be hell to pay), making the necessary arrangements and just getting on with distracting ourselves to get through it all.

The funeral was on Monday and went very well. The vicar was a lovely bloke (even if he does look a lot like Ronnie Corbet) and got everything we wanted to say into his speech. He also nearly managed to kill himself tripping over a microphone cable at the crematorium (but resisted the "goodnight from me" gag we were all half expecting when the curtains closed on the coffin). We went back to the pub he used to visit afterwards and all went pretty well considering. Then yesterday we had a little ceremony in the church yard to inter the ashes along with those of Joan's Mum which she had kept for the last 10 years waiting for this moment. That was also a nice event in a way as it brought a lot of things to an end and reunited the pair of them. They have also been placed with the view he never wanted to leave, so that was kind of fitting.

As an aside, it scared me half to death when I first discovered Joan had kept her Mum's ashes. It was before I moved in with her int he flat - we were moving the furniture around and she suddenly yelled at me to be careful with the box I was about to pick up as her Mum was in it. Not what you expect on a lazy Sunday afternoon!

We also did a lot of shopping for bits and bobs (the girls all got new outfits and hired hats to make sure they gave their Dad a proper send-off) visiting the Metro Centre and Chester-Le-Street among other places. Ate a lot of takeaways (it was decided as soon as we woke up on Wednesday that this was no time for cooking and all the pans got thrown out first) and did some evening driving (trips up to the Angel of the North, into Newcastle to see the new bridge across the Tyne and also down to the coast at South Shields). There was also a lot of catching up with family up there, sitting around talking and laughing over memories and old photos and stuff like that. Also numerous visits to the Chapel of Rest to put flowers and photos in the coffin with him - my first encounter with a corpse too. He looked a lot better then than during the final hours and helped to put my mind at ease a bit.

In the end though, 82 years of Ernie and 72 of Jessie all distilled into two cars loaded with stuff and people that left the North East for probably the last time (although I hope we will be able to go back at some point, even if just passing through on the way to Scotland) and got back here at 1 this morning.

All in all an eventful series of days.

It was nice to sleep in our own bed last night!

I did manage to find a bit of time for myself during all the hubbub to read as I need that to calm my head at times. Rather than take the classic buses I instead read Distraction by Bruce Sterling which was actually just what I needed. It would be filed as Sci-Fi but is about 90% politics. Very good.

We didn't really watch any TV during the time we were there (and yesterday gave it to the hospital) and no music was consumed either.

So now we have a few more days to get back down to earth before returning to work on Monday. Sheila goes back to Canada on Friday (guess who's got the airport run...) and then we will have the weekend to ourselves.

I think that's about it for today. You can guess where the girls are (I'll give you a clue, starts with B and ends with INGO!) but I did the drop off so Bhupen will bring them home.

D'oh - forget my head if it wasn't screwed on.

Meant to mention in that post about last night's sleeping and dreaming. Didn't sleep very well at all - unless I had several consecutive dreams that featured me looking at the clock and the time slowly progressing!

The main dream, however, was much stranger than that but also if true would explain an awful lot about the way things work. Joan and I got sucked through into another universe that was almost the same as this one, but just ever so slightly different in places. Apparantly this sort of thing was going on all the time with traffic in both directions. So, for instance, all the cheap rip-off merchandising you get around films that isn't quite what the official stuff ought to be (as found in pound shops and on market stalls etc) isn't cheap chinese forgeries but actually the real stuff from this other universe slipped through into ours by mistake. It was also home to all the people who have disappeared over the years etc. Well, it made sense to me at 3 this morning anyway!

Friday night ended well - justice was done and Adele was voted out of the Big Brother house. We slept peacefully after that!

Yesterday was a fairly typical Joan at work and Simon at home kind of day for the majority of it. I ironed in the morning with help from:

Chumbawamba - Swingin' With Raymond AND i - Portraits of Anarchists
Sum 41 - All Killer No Filler
Alien Ant Farm - Anthology
The Orb - Adventures Beyond The Ultraworld

Then had a mosey about on here and lunch. With lunch I decided it was about time I re-watched The Haunting what I got for my birthday last year as it is the main film ripped off in Scary Movie 2 which we will probably watch tonight. I'm not sure if the ending made any more sense second time around but I still enjoyed it. Must watch the extras on there sometime as some of the FX were really quite good.

That was followed by the obligatory (it seems) falling asleep on the couch until it was time to pick Joan up from work. I was a bit annoyed with myself for that but again must have needed some sleep. Really must get around to seeing the Doctor again to find out if there's anything he can do to stop me nodding off all the time.

When Joan got home we made the standard issue calls to the hospital and relatives to see how Ernie was and pass it along. She got a bit of a shock when they said what they were having to help him with - I don't think she realised he would be all tubed and monitored up for a few days after the op. Still, progress appears to be being made - his sense of humour is coming back and so forth. Fingers are begining to relax from the crossed position I think.

After that we went round to Ma & Pa's for dinner, which was nice to be able to switch off a bit. Their extension is coming along well and the food was lovely.

Today Joan is at work again and so far I have cleaned out the bathroom and played a few games on here. The soundtrack to the morning has been Crawl, from The Beyond (who were just starting out in Derby when I was at college there and generally superb the couple of times I saw them - pity they didn't last more than two albums) and Implant from Eat Static. This afternoon the ironing calls again - which should help to keep me awake during the British Grand Prix.

Tonight's tea will feature chicken cooked on the new George Forman health grill thingy Joan bought yesterday. All the reports from other people rate them highly so we shall see.

Mmmmm. All full up now with Burger and Chips and Onion Rings and Coke and Grease. Lovely! Joan has already bought two DVDs today (one with Will Hay and one Jackie Chan) - don't know anything about either of them so that will be a change to watch. Still raining though so I'm a teensy bit damp. Now just have to hang around here until they want to come home.

I know where I'd rather be though.

And so it rains again. Well, a whole dry day was nice anyway.

Ernie was doing much better last night when I phoned to check on him. Breathing and obs back to normal and he was asleep naturally. So, that's something to smile about anyway.

I am also smiling for other reasons today. Firstly I don't feel too tired. Slept fairly well - only woke up once when Joan thought it was a good idea to wake me from a dream. Was dreaming about the parking problems we have been having with next door - he had finally decided he was going to park where he wanted whatever and was somehow getting his car on top of ours. I think I must have gone round to complain as when Joan did the good deed I was thrashing about and shouting "you've got two minutes to move the bloody thing or I'm getting the Police". I wonder what the conclusion would have been. Anyway, I slept well again after that - to the point that although I remember the alsrm going I must have just zonked straight out again and not finally got up until an hour after normal. Luckily I made some time up and only got here half an hour later than I usually do. Praise be to flexi-time though.

Secondly the postman brought me a set of cdroms today containing about 2-3,000 old arcade games ready to use on the PC with MAME (Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator). There go any hopes of getting anything useful done this weekend.

Thirdly Joan is off again today and is in Ipswich right now along with Alexander. So, despite the weather I am goingup town in 25 minutes time to meet them for lunch. I feel junk food calling (well, Alexander doesn't really eat anything else).

And I've designed a nice advert this morning too.

Terrible news at lunchtime - Boots have (a) put the price of their meal deals up by 10p and (b) stopped doing the chicken & sweetcorn sarnie I like. Had to settle for a cheese topped Ham and Emmental roll instead, which was quite nice but not in the same league.

Joan's foot rub thing went well enough for her to book another one next month, so that'll do her good.

Ernie has come through the surgery. The actual op went well, but at the moment he is having a bit of trouble breathing so has been moved to a high dependency ward (one step down from intensive care). I guess he was lucky they even agreed to knock him out at 82 and he should be back to normal soon they reckon. We shall see. Probably going up there in a couple of weeks time.

Time to go home now, methinks.

Hmmm, got the details through on whose car it was and have sent them an email, but no response as yet. Then again, I didn't see it when I got in this morning so perhaps I shouldn't expect one as yet.

Gary is just as piddled off as me so we are going to work together and go on strike! Will see what happens.

Nearly lunchtime, and will have to go up the town having brought no food with me. That factor also led to me breaking my resolve to be good and having an Alberts this morning. Very tasty (egg and sausage for a change) and I don't feel guilty about it at all. Even confessed to Joan and she said it had been a good idea!

Ernie should be going under the knife any time now - they are doing a vein transplant or replacement depending upon what they find when they oopen the leg up. Hopefully he will come out of it with better circulation. Fingers are crossed.

Forgot to mention last week - we finally got a new water cooler thingy at last. Actually, we got two - one last week and a replacement for that this week. It has only been 6 months or so since the one on this floor went wrong. So now I can get a decently cold drink with no stairs involved. However, this one doesn't do fizzy water (which is fine by me, I prefer it still) so I won't get the bizarre sight of people getting a glass of half and half. Surely you either want fizzy or still? How can you have half fizzy? Doesn't quite make sense to me.

Will be accompanied by the end of a disc of assorted heavy tracks as recorded from Kerrang telly and then a collection of Honeycrack B sides I put together when I go out. Yesterday's in car entertainment came from Satellite by P.O.D. A bit shouty/rappy and not enough singing in places but very good otherwise and an uplifiting feel to the lyrics for a change. Nice.

Things went kinda downhill after that.

The meeting was just as irritating and dull as predicted, with yet more talking in circles based on the future of the group. Then when we got out we were given the proposed structure. It sucks big time. Not only have they split our team up, but everyone at my level currently gets upped to Senior Officer level except either me or Gary. We have to fight it out between us and the loser stays the same under the other. Like that won't cause any resentment! It took me several hours to come down to a mild simmer rather than full boiled anger last night, and I'm still pissed off this morning. I will be writing a very strongly worded note to someone about it, you can be sure of that. What makes it worse is that all the jobs seem to have been decided and allocated already. What happened to the group I was invited to be part of that was supposed to be doing that? I had enough of this kind of shit with Argos and I don't intend to suffer it here as well.

Joan & Helen didn't win either. Still, I did get to watch a great prog about Llamas on the Discovery Animal Channel which cheered me up quite a lot.

Today it isn't raining (yet!) so I might even get a bit of air at lunchtime. No word on the car either so perhaps it will be OK.

Joan is off today but has to pop in to work - her boss went to a meeting yesterday and phoned on her way home to say she had something to tell Joan. Why she couldn't have called in on her way home, given that the meeting finished at 4 is just one of those unsolved mysteries! When that is done she's going for a pedicure, which should be nice and relaxing for her.

General consensus from the morning meeting people was that it was a complete waste of time and I need to take a pillow/matchsticks/something to do. Oh great. They also overran, which is not my idea of fun as I want an early finish today.

Partly because of the car thing (still no response!) and also because Joan and Helen are having a night at the Bingo here in Ipswich tonite and this time I get to drop them off rather than pick them up. Which will be a rush to start with, but nice overall cos I'll be able to relax and not have to come out again. A big choice between sleeping a bit or shooting some aliens I think. Or, most likely, falling asleep at the keyboard!

Still raining so no visit to the town today. Which does at least mean no DVD purchases! Unless I get to the mail order sites on the web...

Hmm, a Wednesday that feels like a tuesday. Must be because I had Monday at home rather than any deep meaning. Then again, it could just be that I'm once again sat in a mostly empty office feeling a tad bored. Mostly empty because the meeting we thought we were having this afternoon about the future of the group (again) has turned into two meetings about how the group is going to meet the Council's 11 priorities. Only about three of those have any bearing on public transport so I'm not really sure how interesting or useful it will be. They have decided to do us in two halves so I'm down for the afternoon slot. Oh, I can't wait. To make me feel a whole lot better it is raining so I don't reckon I'll be going out at lunchtime, and I scraped someone's car when parking this morning. I don't think it is more than a bit of paint transfer that will polish out, but not a happy event. I have gone the official way to try and find out who it belongs to but had no response yet. I just hope they are a nice person and won't want lots of money from me. Of course, if people could park a bit better and not leave teeny-weeny gaps it would never have happened. :-(

We are also fretting over what to do about Ernie still. It was looking like we would be going up there tomorrow and back Friday just so he would see one or two of us, but Joan has decided it is too much for her to be a passenger for the trip. I don't mind doing the driving, but the decision is hers really. I think we will end up going up nearer the end of the month when her boss gets back from holiday. And for three or four days. It seems now he is not eating properly in the hospital and things are thus a bit more worrying for those of us 300 miles away.

Body Balance was good again last night - did a load of work on backs and abs again and once more I cam quite surprised at being able to stand up and eat today. There were a whole bunch of new people again last night, although I don't think some of those will be coming back from the comments they were making on the way out. I am quite surprised by that too - I would have expected it to settle down to a regular group by now rather than the constant flux in members we seem to have. Wil be interesting to see what happens when the school holidays kick in.

We still didn't sleep very well though. Just the worry I suppose, but if Joan doesn't get some rest soon she'll get ill herself.

Haven't really done any reading for days now either. Which means I'm still on the Classic Bus Tests. It is, however, proving interesting in some other respects as it also highlights how language and attitudes have changed over the last 60 or so years. F'rinstance, the pictures taken on a review carried out on "the hottest day of the year so far" (early June) still show the staff done up in huge coats and hats, whereas now you can bet on shorts and a t-shirt. I do really want to finish the book and move on to some fiction, but can't be bothered to pick it up at the moment. But, I haven't given up on a book in years, and don't intend to do so this time. Or to take a break and come back to it. Hey ho.

OK, so the trip into town turned into a visit to Park & Ride at Bury Road as they needed a display stand I had up there down here for an exhibition. I then had to help a representative of the Zulu Nation (really) find Radio Suffolk's studios to give an interview. They had told her to meet them at P&R then failed to turn up. So I did my good deed for the day, and she apparently gave us a plug on air so that was OK.

Of course, the BBC are at the opposite end of town from the office here, so I had to walk past Smiths. And naturally I got dragged in and came out with Scary Movie 2 on DVD. I really must stop spending money like its going out of fashion like this.

Body Balance tonight, so two BB's to help me to sleep! Time to go home now.

Made it in to work today, but still feeling a bit delicate in the guts department. Also really tired too - neither of us slept very well last night.

Didn't really miss much yesterday other than the arrival in the group of a couple of seconded people. So we are nearly at full strength again, which makes for happier faces all round. Have even managed to get some (boring, essential) work done this morning so that perhaps by tomorrow I can do a bit of the fun stuff I've got lined up.

Up the town for some air now.

Ooof, what a few days this has been since last I graced the keyboard here! Not that I'm at the usual "Here" for writing this stuff, but we'll get to that later. So:

Friday: Having had the meeting I thought was due on Friday morning on Tuesday I was in the office rather than the meeting room at Ipswich Buses. Did pop out for half an hour though to help Gary move a bus stop flag at Great Blakenham. We'd had one of our new shelters installed on Thursday afternoon and someone had phoned up Radio Suffolk in the afternoon to complain about it being in the wrong place because the actual bus stop was a few yards away. That was because there wasn't room for a shelter where the flag was before, so we knew we were going to move it when the shelter went in. But fancy calling the radio station rather than us. Some people are just odd.

Then I just did a teensy bit of work and spent too long hanging about the Llamasoft forums on the web before lunch. That was when I made the mistake (?) of going in to HMV and looking in the sale. OK, so I had actually gone in with the intention of getting the Miles Hunt CD at last, but they'd sold out. Why do I do this to myself? I've got a perfectly good credit card that could stand the occasional impulse CD purchase but instead I make myself wait until payday and when I get there they've sold 'em all. This has happened too many times for it to be palin stupidity. There must be a deeper reason. Anyway, I finally came out with two CDs - SilverGinger 5 Black Leather Mojo complete with Bonus second disc (that makes the two!) and one DVD - The Cannonball Run. That has to be one of my favourite films of all time and I haven't seen it for years. So, we watched that last night (Sunday) and it was just as funny as I remembered. I had forgotten just how many people were in it, and can't quite believe they packed it all into 90 minutes but that's memory for you.

The afternoon was spent showing the Park & Ride manager from Bristol (and his wife!) around our two sites (and also the guided busway) as he was looking for inspiration. They had come up on two wheels - I somehow can't imagine 240 miles as a pillion passenger with no way of having a conversation. Still, it is always nice to have someone else think what we do is the best.

In the evening we just mellowed out, had fish & chips for tea and watched TV. Nothing thrilling, but then who needs an exciting life all the time? To prove it here's a poem I've been meaning to stick on here for ages by Wendy Cope:

Being Boring
"May you live in interesting times" - Chinese Curse.

If you ask me "What's new?", I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it's better today,
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he's the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.

There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion - I've used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last,
If nothing much happens, I'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement, steer well clear of me,
I want to go on being boring.

I don't go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don't need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I've found a safe mooring,
I've just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.

Which just about sums us up at the moment.

Saturday: Joan was at work and I had a very lazy start to the day - didn't even get up until gone 10. In the past that would have been unthinkable for me, but at the moment I just feel tired most of the time and fall asleep given half a chance. By the time I was finally ready to do anything Richard had turned up. We went out up to the big B&Q by the Bury Road Park & Ride. Joan and I are looking for something new to use for video/DVD storage in the lounge and also a new flashy shower head. Drew a blank on both fronts. We also popped in to Comet where he bought some CDs and Toys R Us where I got another of the remade Llamasoft games for £2.99 which wasn't to be sneezed at. We also had lunch at Tesco (gee, what thrills) then back here to fart about on the PC until it was time to get Joan.

We had a nice Chinese and watched Casualty - the last inthe series and a couple of good cliff-hanging storylines to boot. I can't decide if I like that or not - I know it is intended to help guarantee viewers for the start of the next series, but we would watch it anyway and now I really want to know what will happen. Big Brother then seemed to eat up the rest of the evening.

Yesterday we went up to Sainsburys for a bit of shopping which was made slightly tricky by them re-surfacing the car park so we had a bit of fun getting in. I do like the smell of hot tar though so that made up for it. Homebase failed to provide a shower head or storage unit either but we did at least manage to get loads of bargains on the food.

In the afternoon Mum took Joan round some local gardens that were open for charity while I had a bit of a blowing things up session on here. Then we watched the Cannonball and a bit of BB.

Today I have been at home. Thought I was OK when I first got up but then spent far too much time in the bathroom (you can work the details out for yourselves) and decided I was best not going to work as I probably wouldn't make the trip. In the end I slept until 1230 ish (more sleep, why am I so tired still?) and am only now coming to full sentience. Also had some very strange dreams again while I was snoring through the morning, mixing Greek Myths, archery, Lego and a flooded London. If that sounds weird don't worry, it didn't make much sense while I was dreaming it. Some dreams seem to hold together quite well while they are happening and only seem strange with hindsight, but this one felt odd from the start.

I have managed to find most of the floor and some of the shelves here in the study which is nice. Was helped on the way by the SilverGinger 5 discs and also: Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - 1992: The Love Album and Ned's Atomic Dustbin - Are You Normal? all of which entertained me. Still feel a bit weak and have had a couple of wobbly weepy moments during the tidying, which is one of the reasons I've stopped now.

Also because it is nearly time to go pick Joan up and I want to post this.

Meeting with East Lancs went well and now I have some new toys to look forward to. And I've written another fab and groovy press release to announce it to the world.

Listened to the end of the disc I started on the way to work on the way there (the Best of Ian Dury & The Blockheads - totally top recomendation) and started on disc one of Sandinista! by The Clash on the way back. That was a bit surreal as there were a couple of buskers in town and their trumpet and violin just merged in with the stuff I was meaning to listen to and worked. Groovy. I also popped in to Smiths and bought Brassed Off on DVD (excellent film combining brass bands with the decline of the mining industry starring Pete Postlethwaite, Ewan McGregor, Tara Fitzgerald and loads of other top British thesps). We had it in video but sent it up to Joan's Dad and I thought we ought to have it again when I sawe it for a fiver. I also bought the Queen Platinum Collection (all three of their greatest hits albums for less then the price of one!). Don't normally buy greatest hits type things as I'd rather have the whole output of the band, but Joan wanted these and I was prepared to make an exception. Also, they are good tracks that work well collected like this as well as in their original contexts.

Then had great joy seeing Daevid Allen from Gong being quoted on the BBC news site about Glastonbury:

'Legendary' Glastonbury remembered

The farmland setting may be the same, but modern Glastonbury Festivals are a world away from the original event that started it all in 1970. The first Glastonbury was "more like a bunch of people sat on the grass in a park" than a festival, according to folk singer Ian Anderson - one of those who performed at that fabled first event.

Nobody had the slightest inkling that it could grow into anything the size it subsequently became

Festival-goers are now used to huge crowds, tents pitched in every available space and 800 acres of stages and stalls. But just 1,500 laid-back music fans were there in 1970 - and they describe a very different atmosphere.

"We decided we'd all pile into one or two vehicles and see what this festival was like," says Anderson, who was joined on stage by fellow folk star Al Stewart. "And it was very thin on the ground."

The first festival was held on a sunny September weekend. Far from experiencing the traffic jams and tight security that are features of the modern festival, Anderson says he drove down a lane, parked at the back of the farmhouse and "just sort of wandered out onto the field".

"It was very pleasant," he says. "Nobody, I'm sure, had the slightest inkling that it could grow into anything the size it subsequently became." It was a sunny weekend, with no mud, he remembers, and there were a lot of "people with large smelly dogs and afghan coats". But Anderson, who now edits music magazine fRoots, has not been back in recent years because "I don't need the hassle".

The festival's reputation was cemented the following year, when organisers expanded and 12,000 people went to see acts including David Bowie, Joan Baez and Fairport Convention.

Arthur Brown - best-known for being the God of Hellfire - was another of the big names on the bill, having had a number one single three years earlier. "It was a pretty good atmosphere," he says. "It had a lot of spirit and a very open feel to it. There were various people prancing around in the nude, and other people gathering around fires."

The spiritual side of it was more important than it is now, he says. And the toilet facilities had yet to gain notoriety. "I seem to remember wandering off into the woods, really," he says.

Brown returned to play the Acoustic Stage in 2000, and describes the modern mega-event as "very bewildering". "It's vast. It struck me somewhat like as if somebody had uprooted a huge city, moved it and plonked it all down," he says. "There were people who were walking around for two and a half hours trying to find my set and arrived after I'd finished. I obviously prefer the older festival because it had more to do with fitting in with nature, it was almost a continuation of the Stonehenge things."


Glastonbury 1971 also hosted the first UK gig for psychedelic group Gong after Australian singer and guitarist Daevid Allen sneaked into the country with a picture of Buddha stuck over his passport photo. "It was a gorgeous time of year, and everyone was very positive," he remembers.

But 10 minutes into their Pyramid Stage set, the power failed, delaying their performance for half an hour. When they came back on, it was in "that magic moment of sunset", Allen says. "The effect of the music brought everybody down from the house, which was in the distance. Suddenly, we saw this pied piper procession dancing down towards us."

"Everybody who had been over there just came down to be with the music. It was a marvellous sight. It really was a special event." But the amount of mind-altering drugs being taken meant that people could not always tell what was real and what was imaginary. "That was also the charm of it, because it meant anything was possible," he says. "Even the most outlandish thing could be possibly real. In retrospect, quite a lot of it probably wasn't."

He too went back in 2000, and describes it as a "much more complicated thing now. I have to say I prefer the first one because it was very personal. Now, it's become very impersonal. It used to be a compact group of people who all had the same view. These days it's as complex as New York City."

He adds: "It's become huge now, and hugely devoured by people who want to make a fast buck. It's also become this huge holiday camp, like a new-age Butlin's. And also, towards the end, it starts to feel like a refugee camp."

He says part of its success is down to its original "high intentions" of altruism and not being materialistic. Back in 1971, the performers and fans did not even know whether there would be another Glastonbury Festival. "But after such a beautiful experience, there was a strong feeling that it should go on," he says.

--------

Splendid to see the old teapot lover making the news still.

Well, a large part of yesterday was spent out and about doing roadside and stuff (including assembling 30 bus stop flags for use) which was slightly hampered by us having to double back twice for things we'd forgotten and left behind. Still, it was nice to be out inthe sun and fresh air. Had a nice lunch at a pub in Stutton and an ice cream by Alton Water reservoir into the bargain.

Have had yet more strange dreams - one featuring a school reunion and wedding taking place at the same time (and I never did find out who it was getting married), one where I left this job and went to work for a printing firm - and my first thing to do was a leaflet I'd ordered the week before and finally one where the office got re-arranged and I ended up going away for Christmas with one of the new people we had to share spac with. All very confusing.

Today I have the other bus-design meeting so I think I'll do a teensy bit of work now before I head off for it.

Crivens, a Tuesday where things have happened. Will wonders never cease?

But first: Ernie was kept in Hospital thanks to some timely intervention on Joan's part. She had a good chat with the people up at the hospital before he got there for his regular appointment and explained recent events. So, he's in there getting looked after proper while we wait for them to decide what they can actually do with his foot. Of course we then got Shiela on the phone from Canada laying down the odds as she'd got them from Helen. Joan put her straight and hopefully things on the family front will begin to calm down a bit now. We spent most of the rest of the evening round at Ma & Pa's going through the saga with them and drawing on dad's experience and knowledge from within the care sector.

Then we came home and watched Big Brother! Slowly getting more and more drawn in to this series. We didn't watch the first one at all, and only caught bits of the second, but we watched the celebrity one avidly and are quite hooked with this lot now. The rich/poor divide has been interesting to see in operation. We now find ourselves sticking the live version from E4 on whenever there's nothing else we want to watch (even the interactive version with 4 feeds at once) and also the re-cap on normal Channel 4. Last night also did what I'm sure a lot of the viewers are tuning in for and showed us Kate in the nuddy. They didn't balance it out with one of the blokes though so I'm sure there will be complaints of bias and stuff. Will see what gets revealed tonight!

I also had another very bizarre dream featuring Genetically Modified talking monkeys who were now carrying out their own research projects on a specially built island laboratory thing. I really must get my head cleared out sometime.

Today I had an unexpected meeting with Bus Builder Optare and Ipswich Buses to sort out the spec for the new ones we are getting for Park & Ride. I thought it would be on Friday so had a surprise when they called me up to ask if I could come a bit later than planned this morning. Still, it all went well and I am now waiting for clearance to spend a bit more money. Meeting with East Lancs coach builders on Thursday for the other new ones.

That and actually getting out at lunchtime for a change meant I was able to get some music listened to on the way there and back, so have enjoyed Pink Floyd - The Division Bell and the first (self-titled) Masters Of Reality album. Top stuff. And called in to the Library as well and now have some other stuff to enjoy - will leave you in suspense until I do actually hear it.

The car has been looked at today as it was leaking something Oily into the driver's footwell. Turns out it was gearbox oil. There is a safety valve on the 'box but when that clogs the only escape is for oil to run up the accelerator cable and drip off the pedal. Nice! But tis now fixed for the princely sum of £38 so once more I don't have the excuse to get a new car or a bus pass.

As a result of that, though, I have had a lift in with Richard and will not be able to go home until he leaves work. Which is not likely to be until nearly six - a bit later than my usual average. Then we have hair cuts and Body Balance to fit in as well as checking on conditions in the North East and a bit of tv and dinner. I suppose I'd complain if there was nothing happening too.

I think that just about covers everything for now.

You've got to laugh, from the BBC:
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School boy boozers are faking failures

Australian school boys seeking an under-age drink in pubs made a crucial mistake when they forged proof-of-age documents. The photographs used in their faked driving licences showed the boys wearing school uniforms.

The schoolboys from Toowoomba, west of Brisbane, had used a computer and printer to forge the driving licences. These were to be shown as proof that the 16 and 17 year olds were old enough to be drinking in pubs. But the flaw in their plan was uncovered by pub bouncers who spotted that the identity pictures showed them dressed for school.

"With the person's photograph on the document, it is usually a straightforward exercise to identify those involved, particularly if they are helpful enough to wear a school uniform," said Merri Rose, the liquor licensing minister in Queensland.

This lack of attention to detail was said to have undermined what otherwise were considered to be convincing copies of documents.

There were believed to be six teenagers involved in the forged document ring, which had been set up to allow pupils into pubs before reaching the minimum drinking age of 18. A 17 year old pupil faces fines for forging documents of over £250.

School boys in England have also been previously involved in dubious uses of computers and printers.

Three years ago, boys at King Edward VI Community College in Totnes, Devon, were caught using a computer and laser printer to make copies of bank notes.

The forged notes, which had been crumpled up to add to their authenticity, were spent on food in the school's canteen. The forgeries were only discovered when a security firm which collected the cash alerted the headteacher.
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Not sure what that says for the state of the Ozzie education system.

Oh my goodness, just had a look at Friends Reunited and someone (one of the few names I don't remember) has put up an old primary school class photo with me on it. Yikes. Really must get around to joining that properly as there are a few people I'd like to make contact with again.

Another up and down rollercoaster of a weekend. Not so much in terms of emotions but more of activity and peacefulness.

Friday night Joan came home from work zonked again so had an early night. I watched a bit more tv and then joined her. A dull evening for spectators but it suited us.

Saturday went really well until the evening. Joan was at work so I pottered about a bit. Downloaded some more old games on the PC (and now can't get the music for Sonic 3 out of my head) did some ironing and entertained myself musically with the Savage Garden Superstars and Cannonballs live DVD (and now want to watch it again with the commentary (which seems like a strange option for a musical release) and also to check out the documentary) and also Slayer's God Hates Us All cos I just needed a bit of extremeness.

Richard came round for a couple of hours and then it was time to get Joan from work.

She was again tired so had a few hours sleep before Casualty.

Then the "fun" began!

We tried a couple of times to phone her Dad and got no answer. Just when we were beginning to bet a bit concerned he called back to tell us he'd fallen over and was stuck on the floor not being able to get up. Oh great.

Being 300 miles away we decided the best option was to call his home help and see what she could do. He thought he'd left the door open so it shouldn't have been a problem. Unfortunately the door was locked and the neighbour with a spare key was out.

In the end the home help called the Police to come and break the door in, and then they had to get a joiner up to fix the frame. He finally went home around midnight. So, when we gave Ernie a last call to make sure he was OK did we get "thanks"? He just said he needed to speak to Joan's sister instead. Gratitude, what's that? We sometimes wonder why we bother making all the effort.

Still, he seems OK again now if a little sore from crawling around. He's got a hospital appointment anyway today for his foot, so with any luck they'll just check him over while he's there. It is his 82nd birthday on Sunday so hopefully there will be no more alarma and excursions before then.

Yesterday we had a lazy day. Well, we needed to recover! We were both up at different times in the morning with Joan up first then me getting up when she came back to bed. We finally managed to get ourselves synchronised in time for lunch with the Grand Prix. And at least Rubens was allowed to win this time to make up for the Austrian fiasco.

We both dozed off during it though, which again says something about the state of either modern formula 1 or the perils of aged parents.

A quick trip round the shops then we were back relaxing. Caught up with Holby's off tape then watched a film Joan had been lent by someone from work. Deep Blue Sea (I think, can't recall exactly now!) with Samuel L. Jackson and a load of people I'd never heard of (oh, and LL Cool J) being attacked by enhanced killer sharks. Quite fun in places, and some very good watery effects. I think it could have done with a few more people surviving rather than being eaten, but otherwise worth looking out for.

So now I am back at work for another week. Have got some time out of the office coming up to make it slightly less tedious and with any luck the sun will still be shining when we get home. More later as now I want some lunch.

So now we are out of the World Cup, having been beaten by Brazil. How do I feel about it? Not sure actually. Despite not being a football fan it would have been nice to win for the country, but this way we get to head back to a normal life a bit sooner. Not that we do really, as Wimbledon starts on Monday so there'll be tennis everywhere instead.

Joan slept most of the evening and went to bed early as she was feeling zonked after her course. I feel that way today instead. Not sure if I slept to well last night - had another very strange dream featuring fast cars (except I had a Mini), people arguing and fighting, jumping off tall buildings and stuff. There was also a bit with a small bird being rescued which didn't seem to make any connection with the rest of it. All very peculiar and it must have stopped me sleeping properly without realising it.

I have also found a decent Sega emulator for the PC and started getting hold of some of the classics I bought and the others I never got round to/had the money for. A bit sad, but stops me going loopy.

Time for a spot of lunch now, then I WILL get out in to the sun for the first time this week. Must try harder next week.

Oooh, excitement! Just had to leave the building and cross the road to find out why the glass replacement people were hanging out outside our little storage building. Turns out someone broke one of the windows at 2 o'clock this morning and although the building is not alarmed somehow the hallkeepers found out and got it boarded up.

So, why do we not find out about the potential loss of our stuff until one of us notices the vans when coming back from lunch? Funny old system. Nothing was nicked though, so at least we haven't go to get into insurance forms. Then again, who'd want 200 bus stop flags? Well, OK, who apart from some of the people who work here then?

Our current ongoing problem here (other than bus companies throwing services in and expecting us to pick up the pieces which is an ongoing ongoing problem rather than a curent one) is bus shelters. We have started putting them in after a zillion years of leaving it to the parish councils and now the complaints are coming. One chap has even prepared a 27 page documnet of questions, policy statements, quotes from parish newsletters and all sorts trying to stop us putting one outside his house. He hasn't won though - it went in this morning. Ha.

And now Dave from First Eastern Counties has been in showering us with naff pens and keyrings. Woooh!

Forgot to mention just now. Finished Thief of Time yesterday. Very good ending to go with the very good beginning and middle. Also read all of this month's Classic Rock - yup, I managed to get through a magazine while it is still on the shelves of the newsagents. Amazing.

Next book in line is Classic Bus Tests - a trawl through industry mags of the 20s-50s. Nice to see what people thought at the time of the buses preservationists rave over now. More news when I've got past the front cover. Which might be this afternoon if I get the chance/get bored/everyone else buggers off early.

Back to work after a good day off yesterday. Tawny got the all clear from the Vet, I got a keep on going from my Doctor and we filled up the skipbag thingy with some of the rubbish from the patio construction. Not all of it, cos the bag's not as big as we thought it was. Never mind, Jerry reckons he can use the rest of the soil once the grass in it has died out. We shall see.

We popped in to Argos and bought a new garden parasol and a upgraded the loungers so I also managed a snooze in the sun (but with burnt legged consequences).

BB on Tuesday night was good. Did a few new moves and a lot of yesterday was spent with aching thighs as a result. Really must practice the balancing on one leg bits though as I'm fed up with falling over.

Joan is in Ipswich again on a course today so I had her company on the way in, and will have it again on the way home with any luck. Unless they finish really early.

Not much going on at work today. I have managed to find something to do, but it ain't gonne fill the whole day. Perhpas I'll search for more exciting trivia on the web to stick here later.

Time for something from The Guardian's Notes & Queries section, just for the hell of it:

What happens when you swallow chewing gum? Nic Enright, Vancouver Canada

It wraps itself around your heart and kills you. That's what the wise old woman who lived in our street told us when we were young.
Bill Wilson, Derby England

The wise old woman in our street told us that if we swallowed too much it would form a big chewing gum ball in our stomachs and it would eventually explode and kill us. Bubble gum was OK though.
Stephen, Curitiba Brazil

You turn purple and swell up to 5 times your normal size. Then some little green guys in white dungarees roll you off to be de-juiced.
Martin, Newcastle UK

According to my mum, when I was younger, you blow a bubble out of your bum. Why that was supposed to deter a curious 5 year old is beyond me.
Gareth, Graham UK

Bit boring & probably untrue this but I heard somewhere that it takes around 7 years to digest chewing/bubble gum!
Sam , Brighton UK

Chewing gum has five basic ingredients - sweeteners, corn syrup, softeners, flavors and gum base (the part that puts the "chew" in chewing gum). The first four ingredients are soluble, meaning they dissolve in your mouth as you chew. Gum base doesn't. And although is isn't meant to be swallowed, if it is, it simply passes through your system, just like popcorn or any other form of roughage. This normally takes only a few days.
Rich Waters, Derby UK

I had a primary school teacher who told us that if you chew gum your stomach would explode and you would die.
Caroline Scanlan, Dublin Ireland

Now I really must find some work to do!.

The rain has finally stopped, but it is now too late to make use of dryness at lunchtime for another day. Especially as there is no chance of the seats in the park drying off enough to be sat on comfortably.

I am just really bored today. Nothing much to do, but I can't really admit that.

If I remember right, one of the comics we used to read years ago had a campaign to abolish Tuesdays, and I'm beginning to agree with them. Their reasoning went something like this: Saturday and Sunday are great, the weekend, no worries etc. Monday you can still remember the weekend which makes it OK. Wednesday is half way to the next weekend, so it must be good. Thursday was the day the comic came out, so got away with continued existence and Friday was of course the day before the weekend so you could spend all day looking forward to it. Tuesdays, however, had no redeeming features at all.

In real life we do have Body Balance tonight, but the work part of this particular Tuesday is just crying out for either something to happen or a fast forward button to get it over with. If nothing happens soon I may have to get on with the final part of my massive desk tidying project, which has been keeping me looking busy for some time now. Of course, there are still the in-trays to sort once the desk is done, so all is not total doom and gloom in the procrastination stakes.

Next Tuesday the jubilee baton thingy being carried around the Country before being used to kick-off the Commonwealth Games in Manchester is coming to Ipswich, but I can't see that bringing much interest to the day. Traffic congestion and trouble getting up to the shops if I need to at Lunchtime yes, but not excitement.

And once more it rains like the month's quota has to be used up by teatime. And thunder as well. But it was so nice yesterday when I didn't manage to get out, not fair I say, not fair.

Last night was lovely. Joan had done nice things with the furniture and also worked her little socks off in the garden. So we had a great dinner on the patio and then just sat there for ages watching the birds feeding and frolicking on the lawn. Only a bunch of starlings and sparrows plus one pigeon - nothing exotic but fun and funny all the same. And just adore the way they use the bird bath. I think feeding your babies when they are as big as you is pushing family loyalty a bit amongst birds - although perhaps Mrs Starling had got the same idea as she was trying to shove huge chunks of bread down the poor thing's throat. So a very relaxing evening.

The sleepy bit wasn't quite the same - apparently I woke Joan up by thrashing about. I was dreaming that someone was annoying us in a theatre - after being hugely tall and blocking our view they then tried to push in front of us in a queue. I think I took it a bit personally and started attacking them, which was when I woke Joan up and she thus woke me up to calm me down. Very strange.

Not much going on at work this morning, so will have to think of something to make myself look busy.

Thief of Time proving well up to the usual TP standard - passed the 200 page mark already!

Stinkingly hot day in Ipswich today. So, naturally, I didn't manage to get out at lunchtime. I had planned to go sit in the park with my book (just started Thief Of Time by Terry Pratchett) but had to give it a miss due to the office being deserted but the phones still ringing. Must try to get out before everyone else!

No wobbles today or over the weekend, so perhaps it was just a passing thing rather than being connected with work. I will still mention it when I see the doctor on Wednesday though as I don't particularly like it.

Joan off today so I hope she has taken the chance to relax in the sun a bit. She told me earlier she had been moving the furniture around again, so I'm not sure what I'm going to find when I get home.

Nothing else to add.

Finished the Railway Navvies Friday night. All in all a very good and interesting book. Been working through a couple of magazines since then but will probably choose a new book sometime later today.

Yesterday was a very lazy day. Joan woke up a couple of hours later than we usually manage and surprised me with breakfast in bed, then the next thing we knew we'd dropped off again and it was gone 11. We shopped while the footie was on (well done lads though) and then sat in the garden for a bit. Where we dropped off again. Followed by dinner and a fairly early night.

I still feel half asleep today though. Very strange. Seems like I can't get enough sleep at the moment.

Joan is at work today so I have done a stack of ironing (accompanied by Gongmaison and Sass by Salvation) and looked at the web a bit (with help from Credit To The Nation's Take Dis and EMFs Schubert Dip). Now back to the board I think!

Well, Joan has gone back to work today. Not 100% sure if she should have done, but she didn't really have much choice as she is the only member of management present. She is then off tomorrow, in Sunday, off Monday, in Tuesday, off Wednesday, on a course (here in Ipswich) Thurs before two days together in the shop Fri & Sat. So hopefully none of that will be too tiring for her. She was certainly as bright as a button when I dropped her off this morning, hopefully there will be a bit of energy left come 530.

I had a Car Parks meeting this morning. Nice to not be in the office, but no real knowledge gained or decisions made during the meeting so might not really have been worth going along to. However, I did notice that I was shake-free for all of it, and indeed until I got back in to here. So perhaps there is something in the office environment (by which I mean people and work not the air) that sets me off. Will have to try and make note of anything that may happen tomorrow. And I'm feeling half asleep again today which is a bit distracting too.

While I was out I had to deliver some leaflets to the courts. As a result I went further up the town than I usually venture of a lunchtime and noticed the Ann Summers window display which made me laugh. And they get my prize for top Jubilee promotion too. Whereas some shops are offering special coins or flags and have a bit of bunting up, AS have the Queen reading their new book of Wild Sex. They are also selling the limited edition "Her Majesty's Pleasure" sex toy. I didn't go in to see what that was though. A vibrating Sceptre perhaps?

We had been thinking of coming into Ipswich to have a lazy amble about the shops tomorrow, but I think we will give that a miss now. I had forgotten that England are playing Denmark in the World Cup at lunchtime and the police are expecting disruption whatever the results. Perhaps we will just stay in after all. It will probably rain anyway based on recent weeks.

Finished Revolting People on the way in this morning. A very good little series all told and I kind of hope they make another one as there were a few questions left unanswered. Like will Mary and the Captain get together, and will Ezekiel ever get his end away? Alternatively something by the same cast as roughly the same people set in a different time period like they did with Blackadder would be an interesting experiment.

Have now moved on to a Kevin Ayers disc. From a collection of live recordings made for the BBC, some of which feature a pre-Police Andy Summers on guitar and others a pre-Tubular Bells Mike Oldfield. All very good hippyish stuff. I was aware of KA through some stuff he'd done with Gong, but never encountered anything recorded in his own right before. Will now have to seek out more.

Now to pop up the town again to deliver some posters to Park & Ride.

Joan feeling a lot better today. Was supposed to be off anyway but still taking it very easy. At least I hope she is - can't really see from here! She spent pretty much the whole day in bed yesterday and we also had an early night - which I seem to have benfited from as well by not feeling quite so zonked as normal.

However, I've got the shakes real bad today. When I was first on these tablets I used to get an attack around 1030 every day that would last about half an hour or so, now it seems to be most of the day. Which is a bit irritating. I try to ignore it, but it tends to intrude at strange intervals where I realise I've been wobbling all along. The worst thing about it is that there is no physical manifestation - it just feels like I'm all a tremble. Even the heart rate stays the same, so what the actual cause is remains a mystery to me.

Called in at the post office this morning to pick up something that wouldn't fit through the letterbox yesterday. Another load of articles and stuff from America. Thanks Monica. Been stopping me from going off the wall between bits of work today. Some very interesting stuff as usual, a lot of which makes me feel guilty for not having a plentiful supply of suitable stuff to send back. Tend not to have the time to read a paper or anything though, so that's my excuse.

Could really use an early finish today, but I need to make up some hours. I have a flexi-day booked for next week (when Tawny dear needs to go back to the vet) and am only just on the threshold of hours I'd need to stay positive after it. Although we can carry over a negative amount and make it up later, I prefer not to. Feels better to be ahead I think. If nothing else, I am working extra for me to use then rather than because I need to make it up. I do like the flexi-time system here and certainly wouldn't want to go back to a rigid-hored workplace without serious financial inducements.

On that note, I was dreaming last night that I was being tested for a job back with Argos. I was doing really well despite not having been there for years now, and beating two people from the current workforce. Kept saying to people "I don't know how you got me here, beacause I'm not coming back...". Very strange.

Finally got confirmation of the renewed contracts for Park & Ride today. We will be staying with Ipswich Buses for another 5 years which means we can get on and do some things again. Also can start planning for Christmas (yes, I know it is only June) and the like. Perhaps I'd better do some rather than writing this.

Joan came home from work last night with a bit of an upset stomach so I sent her to bed. She did get up after a couple of hours sleep, but still very fragile. This morning she woke up with a splitting headache and weak legs to go with the iffy tummy and has been sick etc. She now has had the Doctor out to visit and my Mum has gone to pick up a prescription for her. I don't mind admitting that I'm a bit worried for her. Wish I could be at home to look after her rather than sitting around here trying to look busy.

I still went over to BB, and it was just as good as before. We did a lot of floor work this time, and I haven't felt quite so unhealthy in years. Loads of work on the abs - muscles that I guess I've neglected up to now. Not too painful this morning though, which is nice. And who knows, perhaps this week I'll find time to practice.

Revolting People continues to amuse and The Railway Navvies to inform.

Managed to ignore all the hype over the football this morning (and indeed the previous matches) despite the fever apparantly gripping the nation. I really couldn't give a monkeys about the whole World Cup. In fact, I can't wait for the whole analogue/digital tv thing to get sorted out so that all sport of all types can be on a different channel so the rest of the schedules don't have to get messed up whenever something like this comes along. I don't want to deny people the chance to watch it, but at the same time think the rest of us shouldn't have to suffer. It gets even worse from now on as we have alternate schedules to choose from depending upon which teams are playing. Think I will stick to the book.

Had to resort to doing a bit of tidying up this morning. Things must be getting desperate.

Went out for a wander in the sun at lunchtime which did wonders for clearing the mind a bit. Unfortunately, since I've got back I've been feeling really shaky - but no raised pulse or anything.

Body Balance again tonight - wonder if I will be able to balance any better. Still not managed to find time to practice!

Did something very unusual on the way home from work last night. So unusual I can't recall the last time it happened. I turned off some music because I wasn't enjoying it and couldn't be bothered to stick it out in the hope it would get better. The album in question was Trouble Over Bridgewater by Half Man, Half Biscuit. I've heard some of their stuff before and thought it OK, so when I saw it at the library I thought I'd give it a whirl. Kind of wish I hadn't now. Just tedious dirges with none of the humour I'd noticed before. So I stopped it. As I said, a most rare occurrence.

This morning I have started listening to Revolting People - a Radio 4 comedy series the brother recored. Co-written by Andy Hamilton who is seriously funny in everything else I've heard of his. Set in America at the time of the Boston Tea Party and quite amusing so far. 6 episodes so that should last me until the end of the week.

Now to find some work to do.

Another up & down kind of weekend. Saturday spent alternating between the Iron and the PC (and also watch Tomb Raider with Richard over lunch. I know the reviews were crap but I quite like it). Also listened to a few CDs for the first time in ages. Just not felt like music recently, but did enjoy Chumbawamba's Showbusiness! and some Levellers.

I also had the unenviable job of taking Tawny to the vet. It seems she has cystitis again, the poor little darlin'. So now we have to give her tablets twice a day so by the time she has finished the bottle and been back to check they've worked we shall really be in her bad books. It always takes her weeks to trust us again when something like this happens.

Yesterday I got up late to find Joan about to start working in the Garden. I managed to take over cutting the grass from her, but she simply did other stuff like weeding instead. After lunch I fell asleep on the hammock during which time she blitzed the whole house. So of course that left me feeling guilty again. Even though she could have woken me up rather than putting a blanket on me if she'd actually wanted help. After waking up I thought I was doing fine, but shortly realised I was in a nervous and feeling edgy kind of mood, which is still persisting this morning. Nothing seems to be shaking me out of it at the moment, and I can't even try my favourite remedy of a walk in the sun as it is instead raining like crazy.

I seem to be getting a run of, not quite nightmares, but dreams that leave me upset (to the point of crying) or agitated afterwards. The other night I woke up in tears cos I dreamed I'd dropped Tawny's dinner and wasted 60p! What the hell is that all about? I'd give a lot to get this sorted once and for all. I seem to be tired all the time still too.

Ma & Richard came to dinner last night for her birthday, and we started watching Harry Potter with them afterwards. Didn't get it finished so they will be back tonight for that. Still seeing new little bits in there.

Been doing yet more "day after the books come out" timetable changes this morning, with a few more to knock off this afternoon. Blasted operators, and even more blasted Cambridgeshire County Council for supporting the short notice changes. Here we go then.