Feeling a bit more human again today. Probably because apart from a couple of phone calls we were pretty well left to our own devices last night. Watched Harry Potter off DVD at last and enjoyed it just as much as at the cinema and reading the book. Hoping they make as good a job of translating the rest of the series.

Today has been a frenzy of ironing, with a bit of light painting and stuff thrown in. I was of course outside up a ladder about to paint the light when the heavens opened, but that just seems to be the norm lately. Have managed it now though. I also watched the qualifying for the Monaco Grand Prix. Haven't watched any of the last two races as I was getting a bit bored of the Schumacher Show, but after all the controversy following the last one I thought I'd give it another go. And a very good session it was too. Am actually looking forward to the race tomorrow. And Joan is at work so I will have to watch it to stop myself getting lonely. Or something!

Time to do a bit more work now.

Never made it home early, people chatting that sort of thing. Still, trip to the airport went off OK, it was when we got home that things went strange.

I'd thought I was going a bit downhill over the last week or so, but hadn't realised how much it had affected Joan. Seems while I was turning in on myself she was also suffering and both her sisters had noticed. They had a big argument about it wednesday night and Sheila got the job of telling her to get me to sort myself out. I was planning to do that anyway, but really wasn't aware of what my problems were doing to Joan. I guess I just turn inwards and lose track of my surroundings to some degree. I do of course feel drastic about not realising I was hurting Joan, which then makes me feel worse about myself but it is better to have it all out in the open to try and work on it.

So today I have seen my doctor and not been in to work. The only appointment I could get was at 9-15, booked just as I got to Ipswich so I had to come straight back again. Still feeling zonked from all the late nights as well as everything else so I phoned in sick and came home. Then proceeded to sleep for 4½ hours so I must have needed it. WIll try to go in on Monday and see how it goes. I know I am better trying to do something rather than sitting around worrying, but I'm not sure I want to be at work either. Oh well, things can only get better, and other such cliches.

Well, there's a turn-up for the books. Not only was the meeting most interesting and productive, but I have probably ended up as the lead person when it comes to maps and stuff. Crikey.

Time to go home early for a half hour nap I think.

Urgh, just got drenched in one of those unexpected downpours. Drip, drip, drip.

Got a fab and groovy (not) meeting about the Ipswich town centre gyratory system this afternoon. Must take pillow. All the traffic will soon be going the other way, and I want to know who's going to pay to move all the bus stops. Then it is the trek to Gatwick to dispose of Shiela. Another late night ahead so tomorrow will be real zombie territory.

Hey, guess what? Yup, no winnings for the ladies last night either. Still, they did at least enjoy themselves.

Oh, I did avoid unloading the lorry yesterday. Snigger. Wonder if I can manage it for part two on monday as well.

Now the pain is kicking in! Well, more of a sort of ache in muscles not used to that sort of work. Joan also noticed it - and we both kicked in around 4pm. Very strange delayed reaction type thingy.

Have watched some of the extras mentioned earlier tonight and noticed a very strange thing about the DVD case for HHGTTG - all the photos are the wrong way round. Odd. Wonder how that slipped through the production process, given the immaculate attention to detail elsewhere on the discs.

The Mrs due back from Bingo any minute, so that's all for tonite.

Monday night was too long! Picked Joan up just after 11, so half past by the time we got home, and nearly 12 when we got to bed. Had a real problem staying awake during the course yesterday. Still, she had a really good time and I think the whole company is going inthe right direction at the moment, so perhaps things will get a bit easier for her. I also watched The Italian Job rather than any DVD stuff - one of my all time favourite films of all time.

Yesterday was the Work/Life course. Not the most useful day I have ever spent. People who have been on it before rated it really well, but we had a different guy running it and he spent half the time telling us about other people he's seen on other courses etc. Not very relevant to us unfortunatley though. His main thrust was that most companies will probably let you work less if you want to. What I was looking for were ways to make the work bit less demanding and for it not to intrude on my home life, not how to earn less money. I shall read the course material over again sometime to see if it makes better sense with a bit of hindsight, but I think this subject may be one for a few hours in the library instead.

In the evening Joan and I went to a new BodyBalance course that was on at the Leisure Centre across the road from us. It is mainly based on Yoga but adds in bits of Tai Chi, Pilates and a whole bunch of other stretchy bendy balancy things. We really enjoyed it and will definitely be back next week. I never thought moving slowly could be so exhausting though. Looking forward to getting a bit more flexible and staying on better shape. Plus being the only chap in a class of 25 has certain advantages too. And I'm not in agony today, which is nice.

This morning has not been so good. They decided Dawn should stay on as acting manager until we get a new one. I'm not too bothered about not having the work and stress involved in it, but I could use the money. As a consolation prize I get to be on the team that will be looking at all the jobs we do in here and deciding who will do what in the end. So, I will try to make myself a nice job at the end of it with more money! Not sure how it will go, though. Watch this space. I shall also keep looking in the papers on a wednesday to see what else is coming up.

Now I have a tedious sounding meeting to go to, which will probably manage to keep me away from unloading the new area books for a change.

Tonight the girls are at the bingo for the final time. Shiela & Helen have been twice without Joan but not made major wins. I shall chill out and enjoy myself.

Several hours later and I'm not really feeling any happier. On top of that I now feel a bit shaky and panicy too. Wish I could just go home, but plenty of other people seem to have done that already and there are only 3 of us left in the office. Popping up to the Park & Ride sites this morning was nice but frustrating as it just made me realise all the more that I'd rather be out in the sun. Plus my arm is killing me from where I landed on it yesterday. Moan, grizzle etc.

I think I will have to divert myself now by attempting to find some desk under all the heaps that have accumulated since I last located it. So long as I don't just find something that should have been done weeks ago.

Tomorrow I am out of the office all day on a Work/Life Balance course. Have been told it is very interesting, and I am looking forward to it. I just hope I can put some of the ideas into practice without negative effects on income! I also hope I can stay awake during it. Joan is not leaving Haydock Park until 1745 tonight so not likely to be back in Ipswich to pick up this side of midnight. Might need to take some matchsticks.

Finished watching Hitch Hikers yesterday. Enjoyed it thoroughly as it has been a long time. A real pity they never made a second series. Hopefully the film will still go ahead and also be decent despite the death of Douglas Adams. I will possibly make a start on all the extra material on disc 2 tonight, or possible wait for the weekend. What an exciting life I lead!

Well, I've made it into work but really don't want to be here today. I just can't seem to get motivated at the moment. I'm not even sure if I want the manager's job anymore - it just seems like a complete load of hassle at the moment. And now the group manager has decided to retire on health grounds the ops manager has been made up to acting boss of the lot of us. He is now sticking his nose into our stuff far more than anyone else ever did and frankly I've had enough. Days like this I could even consider going back to shops.

God, I've only been here an hour and look at me! Might be happier later, but don't hold your breath.

Ended up going round to Ma & Pa's for dinner. V tasty plus had a good old sesh on the Dreamcast with Richard. Thrashed him 20-2 on Dead or Alive 2. Ha! Mind you, in real life I think I lost a teensy bit - slipped on the threshold entering our bedroom when getting changed to go round and hit the deck with a mighty wallop. Arm and leg look like they will have some interesting bruises later.

Joan arrived safe and sound after a pit-stop at Donington (although it seems they got lost at one point) and hopefully is finishing a nice dinner now. Just waiting to hear when she gets back to her room so I can say goodnight. Ah, bless.

Also picked up an Atari ST emulator today and a couple of games to make sure it worked. Will have to get a shedload more now of the good ones. Llamatron with sound again. Wa-hay. Going to have a bath and an early night now I think.

They didn't win!

Nor did Helen & Sheila when they went again last night, but I'm getting ahead of myself there. The BBQ won, so basically all we did was shop and eat yesterday. I know the weather wasn't up to much else, but I'm sure we could have fitted something else in. Oh well.

Today I have taken Joan to Ipswich to catch a coach. The Argos annual conference has been extended to all members of management and supervisors this year spread over two weeks, and they have thrown in transport, hotels etc. So, she is currently on her way to Haydock Park where the event will be tomorrow. Not sure when they are due back tomorrow night, no doubt quite late. She is off tuesday but I will just have to yawn! I am just going to take it easy for the rest of today - play some games, watch a film, that sort of thing. Dull, but good for the brain!