And that was another evening of laughter and inane grinning with mirth that we all enjoyed rather a lot. So here's one from her ouvre to tickle the tastebuds:
OH NO, I GOT A COLD
by Pam Ayres
I am sitting on the sofa.
By the fire and staying in.
Me head is free of comfort
And me nose is free of skin
Me friends have run for cover,
They have left me pale and sick
With me pockets full of tissues
And me nostrils full of Vick
That bloke in the telly adverts,
He's supposed to have a cold.
He has a swig of whatnot
And he drops off, good as gold,
His face like snowing harvest
Slips into sweet repose.
Well I bet this tortured breathing
Never whistled down his nose.
I burnt me bit of dinner
Cause I've lost me sense of smell,
But then, I couldn't taste it,
So that worked out very well,
I'd buy some, down the cafe,
But I know that at the till,
A voice from work will softly say
"I thought that you were ill".
So I'm wrapped up in a blanket
With me feet up on a stool,
I've watched the telly programmes
And the kids come home from school,
But what I haven't watched for
Is any sympathy,
Cause all you ever get is:
"Oh no, keep away from me!"
It moves in mighty leaps,
It leapt straight past the common cold
And gave it us for keeps.
Now I'm not a fussy woman,
There's no malice in me eye
But I wish that they could cure
the common cold. That's all. Goodbye.
So there you go. Not that she performed that one last night (in fact I've never encountered it before) it was just the first one I found transcrbed on to the internet just now.
Also had a particularly bizarre dream I can remember for a change so here's the gen on that: Walking along the sea front with Joan, Ma & Pa (well, OK, the Spa is on the sea front so that could have triggered it) to find a whole load of new amusements. Including a big observation tower ride thingy whereby you entered a capsule a bit like on the London Eye. This then rose to give a good view of the sea and town, then descended slowly before heading sideways on to a sort of rollercoaster type track. This rose up higher than the tower had before, well above the top of the cliffs doing various loops and twirls along the way. Sensibly we decided against this as a form of entertainment but found there was a new set of steps running up the cliff face in to town. So we took those. Only for them to get steeper and steeper as they rose (over a railway that must also have been new!) eventually turning in to a metal ladder with extremely skinny rungs. Not sure how we would have coped if someone had wanted to come down while we were going up. Anyway, I woke up before reaching the top to find it was exactly 2 minutes before my alarm was due to go off.
And what did we find upon rising? The first frost of the year, that's what. So much scraping of windscreens along the street and further reasons for us to thank Jerry for putting that driveway in. Mmmm, the delights of a sheltered car on a frosty morning!
Today we seem to be pretty much devoid of management again in here. Some of them are out at a "Management Action Conference" while the others are interviewing for a post in the Community Transport team. So naturally Gary hasn't arrived yet (0929) and Charles has turned up but then disappeared straight away. I'm sure they will be around to do some work at some point. Just not sure when. For my part I have a visitor due at 10 who wants to try and persuade me to let him use a P&R site on a Sunday for some purpose he has refused to explain on the phone. So we will almost definitely say no. Certainly not used them for non-P&R purposes up to now - don't want to sully the image after all. Oh, and in thrilling technical news I've popped up to a higher resolution on my sexy flatscreen monitor and it is looking even better than before. Which is nice.